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Which is all great (and very Blade Runner 2049/Ex Machina, super-modern) until the wi-fi router goes on the blink and the full-fibre, ultrafast 900 megabits provider goes Awol.Īt this point the Everythinger is trapped inside his house, locked out of his car – a tricked-out, app-dependent Polestar 2 EV – and can’t brush his teeth or get the toaster to work. Going all-in on the conquering capability of the so-called Internet of Things, his doorbell, heating, robot vacuum cleaner, lawn mower, music system, roller blinds, induction hob, water flosser, smart kettle and washer/drier are connected to the internet and run off voice commands via his Alexa unit. This guy puts his trust and his toothbrush – and everything else electrical that he owns – in the capable hands of his wi-fi router. The Nearly Adopter is, let’s be honest, a bit of a bore. He’s the smug, risk-averse sort who waited for the iPad with a camera (the original version didn’t have one) and bought the Apple watch only when it came preloaded with a built-in GPS for version 2. Where does he sit on the Venn diagram/food triangle of tech buyers, where the early adopter is at the top and the others – innovators, early majority, late majority, and laggards – lurk at the back? Judicious, patient and cautious, the Nearly Adopter prefers to purchase version 2.0 of the latest tech, waits for the initial excitement to die down, the zig-zagging lines to recede and the technical glitches to be ironed out. THE NEARLY ADOPTERĪlmost, very nearly, an early adopter – but not quite committed enough to be queuing overnight outside the Apple store for the new iPhone with all the other hoodie-and-backpack geeks.

Yes, world domination might be a bit of a stretch when you work as an estate agent and get your clothes at River Island but controlling the parental lock on the sitting-room telly and running the triple-monitor, super-HD media output in the den is a step in the right direction. A combination of default-setting indolence, a predilection for lazy convenience and box-fresh shininess appeals to both the attention-deficit monotasker in him and the Bond baddie lurking under his mouse mat. He’s mostly bone idle and schoolboy excitable, too.

In my experience older men, at least, embrace gadgetry for a quite different reason – by which I mean a quest for control in familial home environments where they have little or no say on pretty much anythingĮven if it’s only a habit of hogging the Sky box remote or zapping the Vauxhall’s central locking with an Eastwood-esque gunslinging flourish, the latest tech offers a man a semblance of agency and wireless, fearless authority.

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